This week, BYU administration became aware of a new trend sweeping the nation. Everyone is talking about “marinating” and how they do it all the time.

The practice began at BYU and quickly spread to other universities. Sophomore Brigham Braxton and his friends started doing it at Lake Powell over Labor Day weekend, and figured they could do it at BYU, too. “I just thought ‘Oh, yeah. This will totally work,” and it totally did!”

However, not all students are enthused. “If ‘marinating’ is what I think it is, that’s appalling,” says senior Maddy McGiles. McGiles and 

Steve Stephenson, head of the Honor Code Office, said “We are still trying to learn what this means and what we can do to stop it. I will not rest until it is vanquished. Every tongue shall confess.” There is no word on how they will enforce the Honor Code in these situations.

“If you have to ask, you’ll never know,” says Braxton. “It is unbelievable that they have not figured it out yet. It seems pretty obvious.”

Other terms/trends they are investigating include:

Blending

Dunking

Flooding

Hitching

Masticating

Melting

Merging

Networking

Percolating

Rinsing

Submerging

Swamping

Tacking

Thawing

Welding