Picture it: a quant Utah McMansion. Inside, David Archuleta and Lindsey Stirling record themselves doing the latest TikTok trend in the foyer. Above them on the balcony, Cosmo the Cougar performs continual backflips on Instagram live. Next to him, Hank Smith drafts his latest batch of tweets. In the property’s music studio, the hottest members of Vocal Point threaten the release of a new album.

No, this isn’t Stephen King’s latest concept for a horror novel; It’s the first-ever LDS “Hype House.” 

In an attempt to reach lost sheep via social media, this initiative comes straight from the top—with Church leaders all working to shift their focus on the deeply anxious and socially awkward youth of Gen Z.   

“We might be older than the internet itself, but hey, we’re still hip and cool!” says Elder David A. Bednar, who currently sits at over 400k Instagram followers. “We’ve got the best and brightest to bring more of our missionary efforts to social media. And that’s on period!”

The best and brightest additionally include the likes of Youtubers Brooklyn and Bailey McKnight, Summer McKeen, a very realistic cardboard cutout of Zach Wilson, and local menace Kwaku El. 

Church leaders say there’s more room to expand this content house, and are reportedly in talks with the valuable Hough siblings.

“While the Holy Ghost is the ultimate influencer, we’re all doing our part here to become more popular with the youth and their peculiar behavior,” said President Dallin H. Oaks, who sits on 320k Instagram followers. “Some people are taking it further than others.”

“My dear brothers and sisters, do not be mistaken:  clout is the new currency,” remarked President Russell M. Nelson, who is on the road to 1 million Instagram followers. 

“Wig,” he concluded.