Many students wait until after graduation to start having kids. Others don’t have a choice.
When LeMackenzie Smithington was preparing to graduate last semester with a major in Communications, she decided to take a few extra English classes to round out her schedule.
“I only had one class left for my major so I had to fill my schedule with something,” Smithington told The Alternate Universe. “I realized that if I filled the rest of my schedule with English classes, I could graduate with a minor in English. So I thought, ‘What’s the worst thing that can happen?’”
Just like the Boston Massacre, she would end up regretting doing that.
Smithington recounted how excited she was to be finished with school and ‘start focusing on herself again’ when the semester ended last April. But when her diploma was mailed to her, it came with the only thing worse than a rapist. A Child.
Holding her diploma was a small, 10-year old British child named “Harry”. Wearing a monocle, drinking tea, and proudly boasting a tooth gap as large as the space between England and the EU, Harry was the most British person ever created.
Confused, Smithington asked the small colonizer why he was there.
“You see here ol’ chap. When you finished your minor in English, you signed yourself up to receive me…A Bloody English Minor. Brilliant innit? But don’t look down on me bruv, I’ve been drinking and smoking for two cheeky years now. I’m practically a bloody adult already.”
“I was beyond disbelief. I had been single for a year at that point after my peer mentor broke up with me. I barely graduated college and I didn’t have a pound to my name. How on earth was I supposed to take care of a miniature Boris Johnson all by myself?”
But instead of wallowing in her fear, she threw her anxiety away like tea into a harbor and rose to the challenge.
“I soon got a job as an English teacher to support my son. The more I worked, the more I loved my little boy. I took him to soccer practice every day. It was the only sport he could play because he lacked any real athletic ability.”
“It also helped that he only drank tea and ate crumpets so he was pretty affordable. I love my little Harold and I am so glad I took those last few classes. Minoring in English changed my life.”
As the only person ever to say out loud “Minoring in English changed my life”, you can tell LeMackenzie is a brave person. She is an inspiration to all and we thank her for being willing to share her story with the world.