Has this ever happened to you at BYU?
As you furiously power walk to your class listening to the Shrek 2 soundtrack, you pass an interesting group of people.
You see a student strolling in a ten-gallon hat and big, leather boots. After him, you see a blonde socialite pulling out car keys to her Jeep from her Cotopaxi backpack. Following her, you see a future CEO holding three cell phones, struggling to yell at all of his subordinates at once. In the back of the pack, you see a white girl in a Burka showing her support for a movement she found out about on her friend’s Instagram.
After seeing these different types of people, you might think to yourself, “Wow, I am so blessed to live in such a diverse place. Provo really is the epicenter of this diverse world.” If you think this way, you wouldn’t be the only one.
In a totally legit scientific study, researchers discovered that Brigham Young University has the most diversity of the Caucasian race on their campus and it’s not close.
White People can be biologically separated into 147 distinct classes and 143 of them can be found right here in Provo. From amateur LARPers to repressed sexists, BYU is worlds above other universities in terms of caucasian diversity.
“I really feel accepted here,” freshman Token Johnson told the Alternate Universe. “When I moved out here from Boston, I wasn’t sure if I would find people like me. But luckily on my first day, an Italian guy threw a meatball sub at me and I met Mark Wahlberg. I couldn’t feel more at home in Provo.”
After the results of this study were released, many were very confused why a city in Utah could have such great diversity. Lead researcher and self-proclaimed “life of the party”, Timothy Whiteman attempted to give us an explanation of his findings.
“When you think about it, Provo is the perfect place for a white person. There are plenty of trails to hike on, multiple Latin clubs to embarrass yourself at, and loads of unspicy food to eat. The uncultured tend to gather in groups and I guess they have decided to come here.”
Go ahead Provo! Enjoy that privilege while you can!