Every year, BYUSA puts on the True Blue Foam event where students can go down a giant slip -n-slide covered in a foam that has been dyed blue. They say the dye is not permanent, but that may not be true.

Students are typically required to be hosed off before leaving so that they do not leave a trail of blue all over campus. Toby Fuchs, a sophomore at BYU, attended his first ever True Blue Foam last Friday. He was unaware of the shower requirement and went home immediately afterward.

He tried to wash the blue foam off when he got home, but it was already too late. The dye did not come off and his skin was blue. A week later and he’s still blue. “I don’t understand. This was supposed to be a clean dye, if you will, so I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands,” said Fuchs.

His coworkers, classmates, and all others around him have been utterly confused. “Oh, boy. I got some looks on the bus ‘cause of this,” said Fuchs. He’s really struggling with his identity. “For there’s a non-blue man inside me, and only when he’s finally out can I walk free of pain.”

Toby, an ever-blue, has to figure out what to do next with his life. “I might try to reach out to James Cameron and see if I can be Jake Sully’s stunt-double for Avatar 5. I want that part.” 

Rumor also has it that the event released a new Cougar Variant of COVID-19 into the world.