Every upperclassmen’s favorite part of fall semester is, of course, the flood of new freshmen on campus. From not knowing how to make a grilled cheese sandwich to getting lost in the library, their naivety is a great source of amusement. Some upperclassmen are so invested in this entertainment that they become peer mentors. Sometimes, however, the awkwardness, no matter how comedic, gets a little too up close and personal.

Eighteen-year-old Braxton Brextinson is a new freshman at BYU. He recently attended New Student Orientation and had a great time. He met lots of really cool people, one in particular. “My peer mentor, Kelsey, is like literally the coolest girl ever. She’s so pretty and like so nice to everyone and is really fun to hang out with. She’s like definitely the kind of girl I could see a future with.”

“She even asked me for my phone number! And I was like woah girl alright I see what you’re doing there,” Brextinson related before winking several times. “And we get to hang out every month! This is so great! BYU really knows what they’re doing to help us with the REAL reason we’re here.” Brextinson proceeded to wink several more times. “Do you think she’ll wait for me when I go on my mission?”

Kelsey’s Campbell’s peer mentor name tag was found at the bottom of the duck pond where it appeared to have been abandoned in fear and disgust. Campbell was unavailable for comment at the time of publication as she is currently in hiding to avoid more awkward encounters. However, her roommate was happy to give her take on the situation. “I think this is great for Kelsey, I’m honestly so jealous. Really, if you think about it, this is just the first step in becoming a milf.”