The Provo YSA 84th Ward held a back-to-school ward FHE activity last night. Chaos ensued shortly after the activity had begun. Members of the ward were immediately outraged at the lack of refreshments. Donuts and brownies had been promised, but were nowhere to be found.

The ward members blamed all six activities committee co-chairs. As a sign of retaliation, they decided to burn the co-chairs’ apartments. The charge was led by Springville native, Jaarohn Christiansen who said: “That was going to be my dinner! I come to FHE every week so that I don’t have to make food.”

Local pyromaniac, Steven Dufrene, was walking by and readily joined in: “I didn’t even know what the reason was. I just gave people my matches and lighter fluid.”

These hungry rioters now regret their actions as they had not foreseen the possibility of their own apartments burning. “I’m homeless, I’m still hungry, and now it smells like a barbeque,” says freshman Maggy Michaels. Cougar Boulevard restaurants were filled with Glenwood residents who had all planned to eat dinner at FHE.

Tents are being set up all over the intramural fields in a makeshift refugee camp for the displaced students. “It’s not all bad,” says Teancum Larsensen, “As long as I can still go use the hot tub, I’m good wherever.”