It looks like Cougartown has just been picked up again for another season.
This past weekend, pictures emerged of a scandalous affair between rival school’s mascots. Cosmo the Cougar of BYU and Costco the Ocelot of UVU were spotted sharing an alcohol-free mimosa in an overwater bungalow in Bora Bora. More pictures have been taken of the two applying lotion to each other in the sun, feeding each other catnip, and terrorizing fellow vacationers.
Ever since UVU announced their new mascot, rumors have been brewing that there could be some inter-species entanglement between Utah Valley’s most famous felines. The internet has “shipped” the two ever since Costco’s creation and now all of those unsettling fanfictions have possibly come true.
Local students have claimed to spot the two eating ice cream together at the creamery or getting lost in UVU’s unnecessarily confusing indoor campus. But they were just rumors, until now.
Many speculate that the two were trying to spend their last few weeks of freedom in the peace and quiet of the ocean. Months of attending every sporting event and constant backflips would take a toll on anybody.
Others believe that this is just a maniacal scheme to get the other mascot to leak secrets about their schools. Whatever the case may be, this is for sure the steamiest story of the summer.
We reached out to Cosmo’s agent, Milo, for a statement on the matter.
“Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow. Meow meow meow, MEOW MEOW MEOW!!!! Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow. Meow meow meow meow.”
After Milo’s harsh words, we asked a more rational source of information, UVU President Dr. Astrid S. Tuminez for an update on the situation.
“Yes, the rumors do appear to be true. As much as we tried to shield Costco from our rival, she just couldn’t deny true love. Do you blame her? Everyone knows Cosmo is major husband material.”
Will this turn into another scandalous celebrity affair? Or is this the beginning of the most important event in Utah since Post Malone moved to Park City? Only time will tell…