Webster’s Dictionary defines mascot as “a person, animal, or object adopted by a group as a symbolic figure especially to bring them good luck.” They’re beloved figures- adding a flare of entertainment and personality to any event. And at the end of the day, we can all sleep peacefully knowing Benny the Bull isn’t a real Chicago bull, Chuck E. Cheese isn’t a real gambling mouse, and Cosmo the Cougar isn’t a real cougar…or is he? 

Heads were spinning this morning when BYU’s Cosmo the Cougar was spotted on an intimate walk alongside President Kevin J Worthen. Doesn’t sound like much outside of typical office clique behavior, but there was something else at play. For one, six legs were seen strolling through Lions Park between the pair. That’s right- President Worthen wasn’t just walking with Cosmo, he was actually walking Cosmo- leash and all. 

It was…cute? Confusing? Wholesome? Our staff had no idea how to feel about it as we arrived on the scene and hesitantly approached two. 

“What’s the big deal? Homeless week really snuck up on me this year but Kev’s doing me a solid by taking care of me and letting me crash at his place,” Cosmo howled as President Worthen began scratching his head. “Peg even said she’s bringing home roadkill for dinner!”

Forcing myself to meet his eyeline, President Worthen began to further explain. “It’s the least I can do for an old friend,” he said. “You know I used to be a catsitter in ‘76? Yeah, I remember back in- hey why are you walking away, I’m just starting a story-” But it was at this point we collectively decided the energy had become too uncomfortable and fled the scene. We left that day with more questions than when we arrived. 

“I can’t help but feel there are so many important and obvious questions that weren’t asked,” said Dave, a bystander to the event who apparently thinks he can do our job better than us. Well, “Dave” clearly doesn’t understand the complex trauma that results from working on the field and can expect a hit piece soon. Happy Cosmo Week everyone.