A ward in Manti, Utah will no longer be requiring priesthood holders to wash their hands before passing the sacrament. This comes as the latest rule relaxation for the ward, which was on the forefront of lifting mask requirements for both and those who pass the sacrament. The bishop also hopes this new rule will reduce water use in the face of the current drought and subsequent wildfires in the area.

The young men are very excited because to no longer feel “all pruny” after scrubbing for five solid minutes.  They also appreciate the opportunity to exercise their immune systems.  Brother Sullivan, age 15, says, “I just saw Brother Wazowski pick his ear and then sniff his fingers before breaking the bread. After a few weeks of this, I’m never getting sick again.”

In the absence of handwashing, hand pointing has become rampant.  Bishop Waternoose says, “Five of the young women came down with mono on Saturday, and they all blame Christian.  I am confused.  Christian is the only one who always washes his hands!  And what is ‘Spin the Bottle’?”

Other wards have started to follow suit, and now BYU might begin to advise against handwashing.  It is just too dangerous to use that much water in this fire season.