Family planning is something personal that should be between you, your spouse, your parents, your bishop, and every single member of your ward.

However, if you’re deciding how many kids to have, here are some great reasons to not stop until you have replaced the third of heaven that we lost to Satan’s plan.

 

1. The birth rate is going down, if you don’t keep having kids, humanity will die out!

2. Missionary work will be easier if there are already plenty of faithful members around.

3. You could have your own show on TLC or Lifetime.

4. It will get your mother-in-law off of your back.

5. Someones gotta keep Disneyland in business.

6. You’ll have enough people to do a flashmob.

7. Just think of all the attention you’ll get for being pregnant!

8. Have enough kids to start a clogging team. Train every day. Get good, get really good. Win nationals. Make Maria Tucker rue the day she first slipped on a pair of wooden shoes!

9. Kids are fun.

 

And finally,

10. BYU is not competitive enough. The more kids you have apply there, the better my kids will look when they get in.