We’ve all been there–a family home evening activity that is just not vibing right. “For my last group’s activity, we wrote analytical essays about why Toy Story is the best movie. When I tried to write about The Shining instead, my FHE daddy said it HAD to be Toy Story. When I said I had not ever seen it, he threatened to call the bishop?? Okay??” says sophomore Brett Costa Vida Swanson. 

The panoramic is almost over, so now you can no longer use the excuse of, “I don’t feel so good, so I’m getting tested tomorrow.” Need some valid excuses for getting out of FHE? Look no further! We got some expert sluffers to weigh in. 

Natalaegh Eathets says, “I always say I’m on a date with my (*whisper* HYPOTHETICAL *whisper*) boyfriend. Supposedly we have no other time to date.”

Here is a comprehensive guide to getting out of FHE. I mean, you can use it for other things such as dance recitals and graduations, but this is aimed mainly toward FHE and other church functions.

1. Make sure to have a good excuse. Sometimes excuses that are too far-fetched are more believable. For example, you might have an exam that is due tonight that you completely forgot about until now. Actually, this is not too far-fetched for me… Anyway, if you say you have to go to the dentist nine times, that is not convincing unless you are a hygienist. 
2. Time your excuse. If you have a “wedding” you “need to go to,” then maybe it is okay to say in advance if you are a leader. If you are not, then giving the excuse the day of is alright. If you have self-righteous roommates, however, maybe put on something nice before leaving to study in the library or go to the club. Are there clubs in Provo? I guess there’s Young/Dumb. Are they still open?
3. Don’t apologize unless the leaders are Karens. Even then, it’s your life, and you’re not obliged to go. If they are your friends, then do apologize. It is better to save your friendships, even if you don’t feel like hanging out with them.
4. Make sure you still appear active. If you don’t, then they might shame or even shun you. It’s not fun, so go to your YSA at least once a month. If you go to a partner’s ward, make sure that is clear so people don’t, you know, think you’re going off the deep end or something like that.

Some good excuses include:

• Going to someone else’s FHE.
• Saying that God revealed to you that you shouldn’t go.
• Procrastinating so that you have to study or work during that time.
• Working on Monday nights.
• Saying you’re at a cousin’s dance recital.
• Asking for the treats. This might not go over well, but it’s worth a shot.
• Saying you’re allergic to Mondays.
• Getting Covid while you still can.
• Forgetting about it.
• Getting tickets to something more fun.
• Falling asleep.
• Taking too long on the toilet.

Things to do instead of FHE:

• Spend some time with real friends.
• Try a new hobby, maybe crochet or egging.
• Study.
• Go to Costa Vida.