Your mother’s favorite multi-level marketing scheme is doing its best to help the world in these trying times.

Largely in response to recent nationwide shortages, DoTERRA has begun production of various other types of oils categorized as “Unessential”. Although these new oils will not align your chakras, they help you in other parts of your life.

Here is the list of the new oils that will be added to DoTERRA’s line-up this fall

• Extra-virgin Olive Oil
• Petroleum
• Coconut Oil
• Avocado Oil
• Butter
• Beard Oil
• High-Mileage Synthetic Motor Oil

LeBetheny McSherman, head spokesperson for DoTERRA, explained the recent change, “We want to create products that everyone will be interested in. We’ve added Motor Oil for mechanics, Cooking Oil for chefs, and Extra-Virgin Olive Oil for BYU students.”

Although the public has widely accepted this change with open arms, there are some in the opposition who do not see this as a positive change. Concerned Mothers of Draper (CMOD) are the main group that is leading the charge against this change. CMOD is mainly comprised of DoTERRA enthusiasts that want to keep their “business” in-house.

“We are concerned that all of these new products will flood the market. The last thing I want is for my husband to ruin another thing in my life,” an anonymous member of CMOD told The Alternate Universe.

We will see how these new changes will affect the evil empire of DoTERRA in the coming months.