Have you ever noticed how the bell tower on campus only plays hymns? Sometimes they get old, so to spice things up a bit, the bell tower committee decided to debut the new hymnbook a few years early. The new hymn book includes some much-loved classics such as “Popcorn Popping” and “Sunbeam.” However, there are some new additions. Wyatt Wallace, the bell tower vice president corporate executive assistant music manager says, “We are excited to see a list of new songs! It has been a long time since the Church expanded its repertoire. Tomorrow we will play ‘God’s Plan’ and ‘Stairway to Heaven,’ and Saturday we will play ‘Worship and Pray’ [WAP], ‘Praying,’ and ‘Holy.’ We were originally going to dedicate a day to songs sung by Dolly Parton, but we could not because, unfortunately, her songs are not in the new hymn book.”
In response to the announcement, Parker Wallace, Wyatt Wallace’s nephew and bell tower pianist, says, “Dolly Parton needs to be in the hymn book. The most spiritual I feel is when I listen to her music. I submitted her songs to the hymn book suggestion list twenty times per day! How did ‘Worship and Pray’ get in the hymn book? It doesn’t even have the original lyrics!”
Here is a comprehensive list of songs set to be in the new hymnbook:
- Stairway to Heaven by Lead Zeppelin
- Sign of the Times by Hair Style
- Holy by Justin Beaver
- God’s Plan by Brake
- Praying by Ketchup
- Treat Your Mother Right by Mr. Tea
- Crush by David Architecture
- Worship and Pray (WAP) by Nicki Mirage
- Carmina Burana by Some Very Sober Monks
- Bridgeton soundtrack by Netflix
- Shiny from Moana
- Hallelujah by Shrek
- Sunbeam by idk
- Popcorn Popping by DJ Khaled? idk I don’t listen to country