This towering fake pine which has served as a landmark for decades finally has a use besides letting students in Provo send out-of-date memes to each other.

BYU student Corbon Shumway first reported the “pear-like” fruit, seemingly sprouting on the inanimate pole. 

“It’s a real popcorn-on-the-apricot-tree kind of situation,” Shumway said. “On the one hand, I saw it right before my eyes, on the other hand, it couldn’t really be so.”

He added that he was “surprised” not only because the telephone pole is not a real plant, but also because, “pine trees don’t grow fruit.”

To get an expert opinion the Alternate Universe asked Dendrologist Addylynn Carr what she made of the situation. 

Carr claimed that it is “utterly impossible” for a fake tree to bear fruit, and that “no one should need a scientist to verify that.”

Fascinating.

Prevailing theories are that the fruit was stapled on as an Arbor day prank, that it is part of a tree of life reenactment, or that the whole thing is a simple manifestation of divinity in nature and its constant will that supersedes the laws of man.