In 1839, most members of the LDS church only had one question: how do the billions of people who never had the opportunity to be eternally sober and have a dozen kids get the chance to receive their own complementary planet? 

That all changed when Joseph Smith first introduced the revelation known as “baptisms for the dead” August 15, 1840. This fundamental doctrine is where members of the church can be baptized on behalf of those who lived and died without one. And by doing so, give those who are dead a chance to receive everlasting life in heaven- whether they be muslim, atheist, pagan, or the abusive mother of second-degree murderer Gypsy Rose Blanchard. 

Since a family history policy update in 2012, church members have been encouraged to only baptize those found in their personal family history. However, that didn’t stop certain genealogical researchers from continuing to find the names of prominent people to baptize.

Just last week, one anonymous researcher released a list of the following people who are dead and eligible for proxy baptisms: 

• Tupac Shakur (known as 2Pac)
• Shirley Temple
• Lisa Gherardini (known as Mona Lisa)
• Verne Troyer (known as “Mini-Me” from Austin Powers series)
• Sigmund Freud
• Carmen Moore (known as the “sun baby” from Teletubbies)
• Clauddine Pitre (known as “Dee Dee” Blanchard)
• Hugh Hefner
• The Zodiac Killer (we cannot confirm what the church apparently knows)

While we certainly don’t want to trivialize an important issue or disrespect the dead, we’re also dying to know who members would hypothetically call dibs on and if they think that person would/would not accept the gospel.

“If I had the honor to be baptized in his name, I would hope Tupac accepts the gospel,” said BYU student Andy Newman. “And I’d look forward to some riveting conversations about church theology with him one day. I just know he’d have the sickest planet too.” 

“Why does the church know who the zodiac killer is?” asked Evan Perry, another BYU student. “Whatever, I would probably have to say no. But I’d like to at least say I was baptized for him.” 

“Yeah, I would advise not to encourage this,” said the director of the church’s Family History Department when we asked him which celebrity he’d want to baptize. “We’ve already had an overwhelming amount of preemptive requests for the proxy baptism of a certain majesty across the pond…highly inappropriate.”