According to recent reports, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints will be hosting some March Madness games this weekend. 

 

Since the entirety of March Madness this year will be held in the Indianapolis area, there was a limited number of available venues to play in. Just like the Provo Rec Center, there was an extreme imbalance of players with NBA dreams compared to available space. This was the case until the church decided to step in. 

 

“We wanted only the most high-quality venues to host these games. Nothing says high-quality than wood-paneled walls and double-rimmed hoops,” March Madness Committee Chairman explained in an interview. 

 

Along with allowing games to be held in the church buildings, the church will also be providing “church ball” referees from the local congregations. Mainly consisting of former JV All-Stars with the vision of a dog with cataracts, these local members will be officiating the games held at the buildings. 

 

“Talk about a heck of a service opportunity!” Head Referee John Thompson Mathias Smith told the Alternate Universe. “Not going to lie, I was definitely getting sick of mowing Sister Sánchez lawn every weekend.”

 

As a result of these games, the 65 and over Thursday night pick game will be postponed until the end of the tourney. Sorry, Gladys, Frank will be home on Thursday nights for a few weeks.