The classic St. Patrick’s Day malarkey found its way to BYU today in the form of a bar fight at Milk & Cookies. The famous dessert location in the Wilkinson Center had a special deal for mint chocolate milk and chocolate chip cookies with green M&Ms.

Senior Braeyden McMasterson said he took his girlfriend, Ashtyn Anderson, to celebrate their seven-weekiversary, when another student started to hit on her as they stood in line. “This punk just walked up and tried to steal my girl in broad daylight.”

The accused ladykiller, sophomore Landers Clausen, had reportedly imbibed a bit too much milk and could not think coherently. “My vision wasn’t very clear and I thought she was inviting me over. Apparently she was just trying to tell me I had a big milk moustache.” 

The two students fought after McMasterson punched Clausen while talking to Anderson. Several more punches were thrown, but much of the fight invoiced glasses of milk thrown and smashed. No serious injuries have been reported.

Anderson said later, “I think Braeyden and I are done, but I gotta’ admit…Landers’ milk mustache was kinda cute.”