It’s no secret that the pandemic has triggered a wave of mental health issues- whether it’s managing addiction, depression, social isolation, or just general stress. For many, hope is slowly fading away as answers to the coronavirus problem remain uncertain. In these trying times, when it’s easy to be consumed in our own rotting lives and intense obstacles, we understand what the people really want to know: what ever happened to that guy who did backflips outside the library?
We decided to take a look at how 2020 and the pandemic has changed these past and present BYU students of lore.
1. Parkour Guy
Many BYU students did not believe the legend when they first heard it: a man performing consecutive backflips just outside the entrance of the HBLL. If you have witnessed such events, then you know of its hypnotic powers. But it’s been some time since the nameless male student was seen on campus.
Where is he now? Some students report he can still be found doing backflips during online classes with his camera on. When we asked for an explanation on his aerobatic behavior, he replied that he is simply “preparing.” Upon further questioning what that meant, his eyes suddenly glazed over.
“You wouldn’t understand. But soon enough you’ll see. And don’t come crying to me when you do,” he cryptically said before backflipping into the shadows.
2. Ukulele Guy
Every campus has one. BYU’s very own ‘ukulele guy’ was known for playing that thing like it was his job. From riding the bus to walking to class, he had a talent for finding various ways to be entertained by the same four chords he learned from Youtube.
Where is he now? We are sad to report that the man formerly and generally known as “that one guy who’s always playing the ukulele” has passed away due to a severe lack of attention. We offer our deepest condolences. And like many others, we are now concerned for the health and well-being of the guy who’s always playing piano in the Wilkinson Center.
3. The Provo Bachelor
After the historic release of Provo’s Most Eligible season 1, student Colin Ross has been well known for his aggressive whiteness and honorable title as the “Provo Bachelor.”
Where is he now? Today, Colin finally updated his software and has been electronically programmed to run for BYUSA President. He announced his running mate will be a cardboard cutout of Noel Miller and vows to eliminate side hugs and spicy foods like ketchup.
4. Daniel Spencer
Here we have another favorite from the Provo’s Most Eligible series. During his time at BYU, Spencer was best known for his participation on the show, his stand-up comedy, and his viral TikToks- including one where he asked BYU students what their favorite swear word is.
Where is he now? After being driven out by mobs of Utahns enraged at the acknowledgment of swear words, Spencer has now amassed almost two million followers and 55 million likes on TikTok. Outside of social media, Spencer teased his plans to inherit the spirit of James Corden and slowly absorb his remaining life force is “well underway.”
5. The Original Cast of Studio C
Ever wondered what happened to the season 1 members of the beloved sketch comedy show? Just kidding, we know you didn’t! We’ll tell you anyway.
Where are they now? Almost two years after their creation of JK! Studios, the original cast of Studio C have allegedly fled the country on multiple counts of criminal charges unknown to us. Their last known whereabouts were on the US-Mexico border, seen sporting the latest Old Navy collection and loudly singing song parodies.
6. Unicycle Guy
In addition to parkour and ukulele guy, the holy trinity of bizarre hobbies is now complete. Perhaps you’ve seen the sole unicyclist cruising around town in different areas of Provo. When questioned on his choice of transportation, the man continued to anxiously peddle and explained that it is not by choice.
“I don’t know how to stop this thing- I’m scared of what will happen if I try,” he described. “I’m so high off the ground. There’s nowhere for me to hold onto and dismount. Please…I’m so scared. It’s been eight months.”
Where is he now? Due to the harsh winter weather conditions, the unicyclist was spotted in several underground parking lots, casually riding in circles. That was until a small group of street delinquents allegedly threw rocks at his wheel, causing him to fall harshly to the ground and suffer severe facial injuries. Despite experiencing everything he feared, the ex-unicyclist reports to have never felt more free- “the curse has been lifted.”