SpaceX announced sometime last week that they will send their first all-civilian mission to space. They opened up a lottery-style contest to the public, and participants could enter by donating to a charity. Apparently, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is on this list of approved charities, so tithing counted as a donation.

Elder Johnson won the third ticket to SpaceX’s 4-civilian space mission. Because of mission rules to always accompany his companion, he managed to convince Elon Musk himself to allow Elder Olsen to come with him. When his mission president asked what the spirit prison was going on, Elder Johnson explained that this will be the first time missionaries went to space. The First Presidency were immediately notified of the situation, and they took this as a unique opportunity.  

“In the Book of Isaiah, there is a description of where we will gather in the end of days.  Up until now, we assumed it would be Jackson County, Missouri. Now we are convinced there is another place, a safer place. The days leading up to the Second Coming will be worse than an eight-year pandemic–earth will be uninhabitable. We must prepare now to evacuate earth,” says Billy Bob Joe, a President Nelson impersonator.  

The Alternate Universe has yet to hear from President Nelson about the situation, but we think that Billy Bob Joe is a good source of information when it comes to Church policy and doctrine.

As for the missionaries, they are stoked.  “I cannot wait to meet the Martian people and share the gospel with them! Assuming Martians exist, that is,” says Elder Olsen.