As the news broke that around 750,000 pounds of the dorm-favorite snack “Hot Pockets” were contaminated with pieces of glass and hard plastic, shockwaves were sent to colleges and universities throughout the nation. There were many who immediately returned their recently purchased “Hot Pockets” to stores and demanded a refund. Others, however, were not so eager to return their prized pocket pizzas.

 

“I literally just spent the rest of my stimulus check on a sick deal for Hot Pockets at Macey’s,” UVU senior Kage Freeggs told the Alternate Universe. “What else am I supposed to eat? Pizza rolls just don’t hit the same”.

 

Freeggs, a strategic management major at UVU, is leading a local group of students who want to hold on to their precious Hot Pockets. These protestors have named themselves the “Pocket Protectors”. As their Instagram page states,  “We vow to uphold the American people’s constitutional right to eat Hot Pockets as long as our country may stand. Give us Hot Pockets or give us death!”

 

But why are the “Pocket Protectors” so adamant in keeping their Hot Pockets? We asked Freeggs to elaborate on his group’s position.

 

“We are a very diverse group of passionate people. Some of us don’t like the idea of the government telling us what to do. Some of us can’t cook and only know how to turn on a microwave. Some of us think that these Hot Pockets will give us superpowers. Some of us love the feeling of burning the roof of your mouth on hot cheese. But there is one thing that ultimately unites us all: eating pizza in a sleeve.”

 

Despite public scrutiny and overall confusion from outsiders, the “Pocket Protectors” are continuing to meet regularly over zoom. They have kindly included a video explaining more about their cause and how you can become a “Pocket Protector”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0tGBCCE0lc