In a flurry of activity Tuesday afternoon, President Trump issued several pardons as his term came to an end. Among those pardoned was the University of Utah mascot, Swoop. A spokesperson for the President stated “The President sees Swoop as a national hero and thinks it a travesty that Swoop has been dealt such a great injustice by the corrupt deep state.”

Swoop has been held in captivity by the University of Utah since 1996 when he allegedly murdered the school’s previous mascot. Swoop’s allies have been vocal in opposition to his imprisonment due to the fact that the previous mascot was never murdered, but instead replaced with Swoop peacefully. Over time their petitions have fallen on deaf ears as Swoop has been forced to appear publicly in support of the university’s athletic teams. This is viewed by some as cruel and unusual punishment.

Swoop was released into the wild at 2:00 MDT on Tuesday 19th, 2021. Shortly thereafter it was discovered that Swoop is not actually a bird, but a human being inside a foam costume.