Tech Firm Jared and Bros Unveils New Sustainable Light Source “Powered by the Hand of the Lord”

Jared and Bros are a relatively new name in the industry, but CEO Mahonri Moriancumer is already shaking things up.

“I just think when talking about innovation that it’s really important to think outside the box—or in my case, think outside the barge that is tight like unto a dish.”

When asked about his processes, Moriancumer described how he starts with finding a need that he has to meet. “For example, how am I going to cross the watery deep while in a submarine-like device if I can’t see anything?”

The next step, according to the CEO, is to brainstorm ideas for how to fix it. “Obviously windows were out, those would get dashed to pieces, and having fire on board isn’t up to code.” 

Lesser technocrats might have stopped there, but Moriancumer has a system for when he’s up against a difficult problem—hiking. 

“So I’m out in nature, just reconnecting because that’s so important, and I see these white rocks, and I’m thinking, these look a lot like lightbulbs.” Moriancumer continued, “and that’s when it hit me, maybe they should be.”

Jared and Bros have caught some criticism, namely that calling down the powers of the divine to make a light source is too difficult to replicate. Moriancumer says he isn’t worried about that.

“We have some of the most faithful and spiritual people out there on our team, with our constant prayer and supplication, we can pull down enough power to light up the world.”