Local BYU student and Christmas enthusiast Maddie Baker had just finished stringing lights around the apartment and putting on her onesie Santa pajamas when the door began to rattle. Allegedly the ghost of Sarah Smith, a former roommate who transferred to UVU, trudged in weighed down by hundreds of cheap ornaments and neatly wrapped presents.

“Maddie, my old friend. I’ve come to warn you!” shouted Sarah, “I loved the pageantry of Christmas so much that I completely ignored Thanksgiving – just like you. You will be visited by three spirits tonight. You still have a chance to make things right and avoid suffering a fate such as mine.”

Sources confirm that over the course of the night, the ghosts of Thanksgiving past, present and future each appeared in turn to Maddie and tried their best to help her realize the true meaning of Thanksgiving.

The ghost of Thanksgiving past – a cheery pilgrim – transported Maddie back to her childhood days, helping her remember the joy of gathering around the table as a family and expressing gratitude. The ghost of Thanksgiving present showed Maddie the apartments of her fellow students, where roommates were making delicious pies to send to the apartments’ of their crushes. Finally, the ghost of Thanksgiving future – a butcher with turkey in hand – showed Maddie a future where she was playing Christmas music in April and had driven away all of her friends due to her complete detachment from other holidays.

When Maddie awoke the next day, sources say that she replaced her Santa posters with turkeys, covered the Christmas tree up with a giant pilgrim cut-out, and put a buckle on her elf hat.

“You there boy!” She reportedly shouted out of your window at no one in particular, “Fetch me the finest turkey in all of London!”