Local political genius Darren Sims came forward on Friday morning with a ground breaking announcement, declaring that he “doesn’t like either side” in the upcoming election. This move is unexpected from Sims who had previously been heard to say that he “thinks that both sides should calm down”.

Much has been said about the upcoming election and for many people it has taken the shape of a titanic struggle between good and evil. “It’s times like these that we must be grateful for visionaries like Darren.” said Yourhometown area socialite Sophia Sophist, “Usually its hard to figure out who we should vote for, but now that we know that both sides are bad it makes being undecided so much easier.”

“I really pride myself on saying super useful things at important times,” said Sims. “Being very well-versed in the issues and in politics in general I felt that I had to come forward with a strong statement.”

Analysts have commented on the vague nature of Sims’ statement and most marvel at his ability to say something so profound that it could be applied to literally any election taking place between now and the end of time The end of time is generally understood to mean what will happen immediately after whatever the opposite side is for you wins.