Earlier this week, Vice President Mike Pence held a series of speeches in Arizona seeking to rally the support of the LDS community. These events were well attended by many Latter-Day Saints seeking words of counsel and comfort from their trusted religious leaders.

“Hearing the words that Elder Pence…. I mean Vice President Pence spoke was such a witness to me that he really is an elected official.” says Barbara Leeland, 67. “It is so good to know that he is the only living person on earth who can speak on behalf of the office of Vice President.”

The larger LDS community was quick to point out that the church is officially neutral in the political sphere and neither Pence or Trump are actually a religious authorities in their faith.

In an attempt to better understand attendees’ devotion to both their political candidates and their church the Alternate Universe asked them to identify the author of the following quote:

“When we have conquered this (virus)—and we will—may we be equally committed to freeing the world from the virus of hunger, freeing neighborhoods and nations from the virus of poverty. May we hope for schools where students are taught—not terrified they will be shot—and for the gift of personal dignity for every child of God, unmarred by any form of racial, ethnic, or religious prejudice.”

The results were as follows: 32% – Sleepy Joe Biden, 28% Socialist Bernie, 14% AOC, and 26% said they had never heard it before. The quote is from Elder Jeffery R Holland’s most recent General Conference address.