The Utah Department of Health has issued a statement detailing the incorrect number of positive COVID-19 cases reported, followed with an apology and explanation for the extreme error.

The average case count per day from last week was reported as 447, a noticeable decrease from the previous weeks. Unfortunately, last week’s average case count was corrected in the Utah Department of Health’s report as an average of 3,100 cases per day, bringing the total number of cases last week to 22,157 cases.

Sandra Salisbury, the spokesperson for the Utah Department of Health, provided insight and commentary on the inaccuracy. “The medical world is very technical,” said Sandra, “and it can be confusing. When you hear the word ‘positive,’ what do you normally think of? Good things, that’s what. The problem with the case reports was the confusion that the test results caused. Turns out positive is negative, and negative is positive.”

Thoroughly embarrassed, Sandra continued to describe the confusion of correlating “positive” results with being infected with COVID-19, and “negative” results with confirming the lack of coronavirus.

The medical officials had gotten “positive” and “negative” mixed up, but mandatory training on terminology has been introduced. The Utah Department of Health is expecting future mandates of hand mittens, individual bubbles, and the production of single-person vehicles.

The case count for today was 4,763.