A time capsule built into the Salt Lake City temple was recently recovered during construction on the building. Along with the best hits of Parley P. Pratt and Wilford Woodruff’s pocket change, church officials found a book of revelation detailing events in the year 2020.

“I just wish we had found the book sooner, we could have been way better prepared,” said church spokesperson Devon Cook. “Of course, if the world actually listened to our revelation and proclamations, we would have all been translated long before the pandemic anyway.”

A prototype of an unmarked vaccine had been discovered, but due to conditions in the capsule, it was completely unsalvageable. 

Although many of the prophesied events have already occurred, many more are foretold for later in the year, including:

Wars (and rumors of wars)

Drought

Famine 

The seas turning to blood

Low-rise jeans coming back into fashion

Nuclear apocalypse

There is some speculation as to who actually wrote this book of prophecies. Handwriting experts are currently analyzing and have not been able to find any matches. Critics of the church have already chimed in saying it was, “obviously Sidney Rigdon” and “just based on Solomon Spaulding’s book anyway.”