The BYU Financial Aid Office recently asked for students and Provo residents to bring in their coins during the nationwide coin shortage. In return, those bringing coins would be given matching currency, rounding up to the nearest dollar. Parker Jennings, a BYU freshman, jumped on this opportunity to utilize his coin press he had recently purchased from Amazon, and began printing his own counterfeit coins.

“We received a call from the Financial Aid Office that George Washington was winking on some of the quarters turned in,” said Ron Swanston, criminal investigator. “That man cannot be disrespected like that!”

After a conducted investigation, the police found over $10,000 worth of quarters that had been turned in for cash. Leading the case, Swanston traced the scandalized quarters back to an apartment at Glenwood, which is now on probation for BYU-approved housing status.

“I don’t understand what the big deal is,” said Parker Jennings, a self-proclaimed entrepreneur. “It’s honest work, really. I’ll admit, I wasn’t prepared for how expensive college would be, so I created my own job. I should probably be getting paid more money for my quarters. Besides, if people use my quarters, then it can’t be counterfeit, can it?”

The charges against Jennings have led to a sentencing of an increased tithing percentage, living at the Village, and retaking American Heritage, with an exemption considered only upon transferring to UVU.