Government Changes Independence Day to the Third of July in Honor of “Hamilton”

The United States government has declared that the Fourth of July will now be the Third of July, coinciding with Hamilton’s release on Disney Plus.

“I’m glad we’re recognizing the relation between Independence Day and the availability of Hamilton,” said A.J. Hamilton (no relation). “We’re about to experience freedom like never before.”

Noting that “history has its eyes on [the U.S. government],” the move to change the celebration of Independence Day to be combined with the nationwide viewing of Hamilton was something that ninety-eight of the senators agreed on.

“You have the signing of the Declaration of Independence, the Constitutional Convention, the Battle of Yorktown, and now you have the release of Hamilton,” said G. Peter Washington, a renowned historian. “The Third of July is a moment in history that will be remembered forever.”

Americans are anxiously waiting for the display of fireworks tonight, which are likely to be timed to the entire soundtrack of Hamilton.