At the conclusion of her elaborate coronation ceremony atop Kimball Tower, BYUSA president Sarah Hughford looked out over campus and was distressed to find not a single one of her subjects below. Sources close to the royal family confirm that President Hughford has exploded into a fit of rage.

“What is this insolence? How dare they disrespect the crown!” President Hughford cried out to her guards, “Double the people’s taxes and throw the jester off the tower!”

In hopes of appeasing the newly elected president, BYUSA interns pretended to get rid of a nearby theater student and promised to have Fall tuition raised immediately.

“I run a good campaign, get elected, and this is how they repay me? This was supposed to be our campuses’ special day.” President Hughford mumbled to herself, sinking back onto a golden throne, “How could this happen. How could this happen…”

At press time, Hughford was seen ordering the Lodges at Glenwood be burned to the ground in hopes of inspiring renewed loyalty to the crown.