It appears that widespread stay-at-home advisories have not only helped slow the spread of COVID-19, but they have also had some other unintended positive consequences. According to sources at the International Center for Piranha-Related Casualties, piranha-related deaths are reaching the lowest levels seen since 2010.

“Typically we see increases in piranha attacks during the summer months when people are more likely to enter bodies of freshwater.” says Jennifer Jones “With more people staying inside and away from bodies of freshwater, we’re seeing a remarkable decrease in piranha attacks. We see this as a good thing.”

However, not everyone agrees that the decrease in attacks is a good thing. “It’s been a slow year for business for sure, hopefully a cow or goat will fall into the river to make up for it though.” says a piranha, “This virus has been hard on everyone.” His sentiment is shared by other animals and fish who have also seen declines in the number of humans they can attack. “You used to be able to count on a few stupid tourists wandering away from the group every summer,” claims a wolf in Yellowstone National Park, “Now we’d be lucky to see even one old person get left behind.”

While most people embrace the decrease in piranha and other animals related deaths, there are a small contingent who feel their right to get eaten by wild animals is under attack. “What makes this country great is our ability to get attacked and eaten by wild animals at any given moment,” says Justin Turner, ” the thought that this freedom could be taken away is really scary to me.”