With finals rapidly coming to a close, many students have found difficulty focusing amidst the quarantine. And though the honor code forbids homosexual dating, it is undeniable that forced separation from the opposite sex enkindles certain thoughts.

One male student says, “I haven’t talked to a girl in a month, and it’s been difficult the whole time. At first it was just the small things that reminded me how much I missed girls. I noticed myself staring at the Girl’s Soccer calendar magnet on our fridge. Then it was my friends’ fiancés on their wedding announcements. Eventually the graceful curves of my desk lamp were too distracting to even study. After that, something snapped in me. Now my roommates. . .”

He declined further comment.

BYU has declined an official statement, though students were reminded as always to, “pray the gay away.”