Strange times such as these dictate strange responses. As such, the Alternate Universe is providing a way for you to avoid the upcoming plague of locusts that we are certain is coming.

This article must be liked and shared by everyone who sees it, lest your home be consumed by a swarm of locusts. This is the only way to prevent your beloved home from being slowly chewed to bits by millions of aggressively hungry grasshoppers.

According to leading fictional scientists, the current probability of every person’s house being consumed by locusts is 98.97%. Falsified studies show that after liking and sharing this article, those odds drop to under 2.31% probability.

Please keep you and your loved ones safe by passing on this critical information.