President Kevin J. Worthen was disappointed to cancel several days of BYU classes this week, but quickly settled into the rigors of outlasting a virus. With department stores beginning to empty, sources close to BYU’s 13th president are saying that he has frantically begun buying up wreaths and unpacking holiday decorations to prepare for the festivities of the coming year.
“He won’t stop baking pies. I just want to go home.” says Worthen’s 7-year-old granddaughter Lucy.
The Worthen front yard has reportedly become completely covered in easter eggs and carved pumpkins. Neighbors unloading their grocery store hauls nearby have expressed confusion at the drastic change.
“I’m becoming concerned for Kevin.” related neighbor Carl Hopkins while bringing in a 36-pack of toilet paper from his minivan, “I thought the Christmas lights were just to cheer everyone up, but it seems like he’s really serious about getting ready for the holidays.”
Although The Alternate Universe reached out to President Worthen for comment, we were told that he was too busy writing Valentine’s cards to issue a statement.