Provo is the scene of great lamentation this weekend after this round of midterms has concluded in tragedy. Many student’s main study resource, Quizlet, went down permanently last week due to Russian meddling.

Sarah Sappers, a freshman, told us, “How was I supposed to memorize what a preposition or a noun is without Quizlet’s free flashcards? I looked at the study guide for my English 100 class and realized I had absolutely no way to learn it all, so I just cried for three hours then took the test. I got a 23%.”

Unfortunately Sarah’s story is not unique. Accounts such as hers are widespread throughout campus. Organic Chemistry students started a riot in the testing center that ended in three deaths, countless injuries, fifteen disappearances, and even opened a portal to an evil dimension.

BYU administration has responded firmly that they will not allow grade inflation; GPAs will remain as they stand.

Since BYU professors don’t know what  “mid” means and “midterms” are given willy nilly throughout the semester–sometimes up until days before the final–we expect more calamity to follow unless by some miracle Quizlet is brought back.