Hoping to turn around dire financial conditions in the organization, the Boy Scouts of America have announced a huge sale on all uniform patches. The awards, traditionally given to youth in recognition of their scouting achievements, are now available to all, and for 75% off.

“Has it been strange selling discounted eagle scout awards to random people? Yes. But, a scout is thrifty.” says Boy Scouts President David Jones, “Everyone who supports us financially is an honorary eagle scout in my book.”

Starting Monday, Boy Scouts administrative offices throughout the nation will be plastered with “Everything Must Go” signs, and will feature scouts dancing and holding “Huge Discounts” posters out front.

The organization allegedly tried out several fundraising approaches before finally settling on putting their greatest honors on major clearance. However, newly minted female members were not interested in selling cookies, and holding a giant garage sale was “exciting” but did not seem practical.

“When we heard about how much money the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints had, we considered reaching out.” confided President Jones, “But, it felt a little late for that.”

Although the future of the Boy Scouts of America is uncertain, leadership in the organization is excited about their newest initiative. People everywhere are encouraged to stop by their local Boy Scouts Council Building to take part in these historic deals.