President Trump to declare war on Utah Construction with Bipartisan Support

The state of Utah is on the verge of war following a recent visit by President Donald Trump.

During his visit, President Trump expressed his frustration with the never-ending cycle of construction in Utah. On Twitter, he wrote:

“It’s ridiculous, it’s obnoxious, it’s nasty, and it’s an outrage. Utah construction causes the worst traffic in the history of traffic. I will bring the full might of the United States Military down on Utah construction!”

When asked if this was a declaration of war, Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell responded, saying, “He said that? Really? If I’m being honest, we don’t even check his Twitter account anymore.”

Despite President Trump’s history of controversial actions, it seems that this new declaration of war is reaching bipartisan support.

Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House of Representatives, in a statement to the press said, “The people of Utah have suffered under the iron fist of construction long enough. It is time to bring the war home.”

When asked about Trump’s tweets in a private interview, Senator Bernie Sanders could only reply, “Is construction controlled by the one percent? By the corporations? Yes? Then burn it down. Burn it all down.”

When asked, New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez stated “Wait, what? What’s this about? We’re going to fight the road construction?”

President Trump is expected to deploy 300 troops to the Utah border in order to investigate the position of the enemy. The Alternate Universe will continue to update as more news becomes available.