The Alternate Universe has been serving BYU students the finest news since 1955, and now we want you to serve the finest looks with our new line of merch.

For $7.99, this sock featuring our logo will be sure to impress your date! The classic blue ‘AU’ at the top is complemented by the gray toe and heel borders on the bottom. You can only buy one at a time though, so keep that in mind when you order.

Now for only $1, you too can be the owner of this offended Kevin J. Worthen postcard. Send this to your parents because they let your Aunt Karen come to Thanksgiving dinner, and she kept asking why you were still single. They knew better; Karen always asks why you’re single.

What a bargain! For $3.68, you can plaster your Hydro Flask with this inspirational ‘What Would Dan Smith Do’ sticker with a weird background on it. Some people live their lives at BYU, but Dan Smith lives his life to the max.

For $2.74, this candle will fill your dirty little apartment with a vaguely pleasant scent of vanilla. You can’t have this one delivered though, you have to meet one of us at the local Dollar Tree to pick it up. We could probably make a lemon-scented one too if you really wanted.

Forget Chip! These $2.99 cookies will satisfy your late night cravings and your piteously empty wallet. We’ll deliver them to your door with a bottle of milk exactly like every other cookie company in Provo! (Deal only lasts until midnight on 12/2/2019)

If you like what you saw, head over to our donation tab and give us your life savings. We can’t promise that we will send you anything on this list. Maybe you won’t get anything at all. But who knows. There’s only one way to find out.