Members of the Provo 255th ward were shocked today when Parker Schmidt was sustained as a Munch and Mingle committee member, making him the 47th person to join said committee since August. It is unclear to members at this point why there are so many members being called to munch and mingle, especially since the 255th wards last meal consisted of Oreos and a single package of expired hot dogs from Costco.
When questioned about his bold decision making process, Bishop Ames of the 255th ward was quoted as saying: “The Lord knows the needs of His congregations, and right now, this congregation needs to be fed. Physically. Because to be honest, we haven’t had a munch and mingle in this ward since two hour church started. Some of us are here at church for way longer than that.” At this point in the year, it sounds like Bishop Ames is aiming for quantity over quality in his quest for finding willing church members to serve in this position.
Other members of the 255th ward, when asked about this situation, were reported to have said: “Munch and Mingle? Isn’t that supposed to be called linger longer?” and “Every person that gets called to munch and mingle goes inactive. My roommate George got that calling, and I haven’t seen him in two months.”