BYU’s win over Boise State on Saturday was marred by a startling revelation, as the university admitted for the first time publicly that their beloved mascot, Cosmo, was not a real mountain lion. The announcement took the form of a mid-game recognition of those past charlatans who had dared deceive the public into thinking they were, in fact, a real living cougar.

“I’m glad that it was raining so hard because it disguised my tears,” said marketing student Chad Chaderson. “Cosmo was a building block of my testimony; only at the Lord’s University could they train a bona fide mountain lion to do flips and high-five kids.”

This shocking announcement caused many to call for a change in the school’s team name as angry letters flooded the school’s athletic department. Many of these responses provided their own suggestions for a new name. The most common among these were “the Saints,” “Cureloms and Cumoms,” and “the Fighting Kalanis”.

President Worthen declined to comment when asked about the scandal, but a BYU spokesman did release a statement saying “We are grieved deeply that this deception was allowed to continue for as long as it did, we profoundly apologize for whatever role we may have played in the perpetuation of this lie. We hope and pray that the BYU community is able to heal and grow together as we move forward from this debacle.”