Honor on BYU campus has hit an all-time low according to campus officials and they have called upon the only department on campus they trust to help: the Testing Center. Testing officials made the shocking announcement this morning that they are hiring TSA agents to increase security and honor campus-wide.
New security checkpoints are going to be set up for screening outside of the testing center. In order to enter, students will need not only a BYU ID, but also a boarding pass printed at the Wilkinson Center.
Bags will have to be put through an x-ray machine for no apparent reason at all. The director of TSA security Phebe Bloggs said, “We weren’t sure what to bring onto campus to help with the honor issue that has been spreading. So we decided to bring everything with us. The x-ray machine doesn’t do anything, but we feel important with it so that’s why we are implementing it.”
Students will be regularly patted down throughout the duration of their tests to ensure that their phones are always in their backpacks. There will be separate rooms for screening for those students that don’t feel comfortable going through the regular screening process.
A K9 unit has also replaced the regular workers that monitor students taking their exams. Any student found guilty touching or looking at a dog will automatically fail their exam. “They have taken everything I hate about airports and placed it on my least favorite part of campus,” said Reese Hawkins, who must take 46 tests there this semester.
TSA have tracked current honor levels and created helpful charts demonstrating what they hope to achieve when the operations come into effect next week. “We see that honor levels have reached an all-time low in these past nine months, but our analysts have crunched the number and our forecasts for honor levels is very promising,” said Bloggs.
Thankfully TSA Precheck status can be acquired for any athlete student willing to take a five-semester long course they will receive no credit for. Late fees will no longer be a part of Testing Center policy as all students will now have to pay $35 a test, regardless of when it is taken. TSA is here to stay, and line waits will increase tenfold as a result. All students should plan on arriving at the Testing Center at least two hours prior for domestic tests, and three hours if it happens to be international.