It’s that time of year again. Fall semester is about to begin. If it’s your first semester at BYU, here’s everything you need to know for an excellent year with the Cougars.

Find a new roommate. Oh, you already have one? Enjoy it while it lasts. They’ll be engaged by winter semester

Memorize the entire Book of Mormon. You forgot to check RateMyProfessor.com, didn’t you? Now you’ve got the hardest religion teacher ever. Looks like your faith gets a C.

Sign up for a WILK pass. They cost $20 and are required to enter the WILK. You can purchase one at altuniversebyu.com/donate.

Get an on-campus job. The only one that works with your schedule is custodial work in the JFSB. Your shift starts at 3am.

Learn the acronym for every building. Students and teachers expect to hear “SWKT” and “MARB”. Anyone who uses the full name of any building will be mocked.

Break all ties with the opposite sex. We can’t have you breaking the honor code, now.

Break the bank for a ROC pass. You know you want to watch BYU lose up close!

Get used to instant failure. Nobody wants to see you cry at the testing center.

Delete everything from your music library except Vocal Point. This is the only good music now. 

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