These 10 Completely Incapable Babies Have Already Attended More College Than You

With the year 2017 newly supplanting the likes of 2016, we’ve collected a list of 10 freshly born babies that have been attending college classes a lot longer than you have. Looking at you Freshman. They represent a rising generation, a generation that will almost certainly either steal your job or make a robot that will take it from you.

Kathy, born just two months ago and laughingly unable to string together coherent sentences or even sounds has been frequenting calculus classes with her mom.

Joey, 6 months old, still wears diapers and sucks on a plastic toy most of the day. Yeah, nice hobby you littler sucker. He goes with his young mother to a programming class.

Eric is 8 months old. He cries like a baby when he doesn’t get an afternoon nap, but finds time to go with his dad to an 8 AM business class three days a week. Why don’t you get a normal sleep schedule like a real human?

Rachel, who couldn’t catch a ball even if you threw it right into her hands, and basically has no control over her feet, is going on 7 months of living and breathing and attends an advanced Spanish class 5 days a week. Maybe a physical therapy class would do you a little more good, don’t you think? Klutz…

You can find 4 month old Paul listening to a philosophy lecture every Friday afternoon with his mom. Paul poops all over himself several times each day.

9 month year old Brad can’t stomach anything except mashed up vegetables and milk. What a loser. He never misses his mom’s accounting class though.

Emily sleeps in a sort of roofless cage under video surveillance all night to make sure she doesn’t hurt herself. Dependent much? She goes to a Book of Mormon class a couple times a week.

Not sure if 2 month old Spencer even understands one word of the English language, but that doesn’t stop him from attending a creative writing class with mommy every other day. Is he stupid, or just dumb?

Rebecca for almost 8 months now has been going to biology classes with dad. She is barely a foot tall, but you wouldn’t be able to tell because her body is so weak that she can’t even support herself standing up. Wimp.