Energy from BYU ROC Only Thing Sustaining President Nelson
In a completely unexpected turn of events, the BYU Football team has had an unbelievable season, blowing past predicted scores and winning six games in a row. In related news, a shocking report from Church Headquarters in Salt Lake City revealed this morning that the manic energy from the ROC section is the sole life force sustaining President Russell M. Nelson. “We didn’t think he … Continue reading Energy from BYU ROC Only Thing Sustaining President Nelson
Student Blinded By Brigham Square Repents, Changes Name
The installation of a new bright-white concrete surface in the quad area between the ASB, Library, and JKB has been met with hands over foreheads and squinted eyes. With very few trees or tall buildings to provide shade, Brigham Square is dangerously, even blindingly bright. So bright, in fact, that it recently converted a man to Christ. On the road from the HBLL to the … Continue reading Student Blinded By Brigham Square Repents, Changes Name
Local Woman ‘Sick of Provo’—Makes Big Move to Vineyard
The Provo bubble is about to burst. McTayomsleigh Williamson, a 24-year old UVU graduate, has been living in Provo for the past 6 years. And while she’s made great friends and memories in this place, she is starting to feel that she is outgrowing it. “I’m so sick of the Provo bubble. Everyone looks the same. Sounds the same. Does the same things. Believes the … Continue reading Local Woman ‘Sick of Provo’—Makes Big Move to Vineyard
Provo Men Obsessed With Balls
Recently, reports have been circulating of a very vocal group of male BYU students who are very concerned about balls. With their friends, ball talk. Between classes, they exchange ball stories. Highlight reels of balls on their Explore pages. It’s all ball games, ball tricks, ball up top. Balls, balls, balls. “The only thing my fiancé wants to talk about is ball games,” complained Emma … Continue reading Provo Men Obsessed With Balls
Blatant Honor Code Violations on Campus
Let’s face it—we’ve all been reported to the Honor Code office for shouting obscenities at the ducks in the pond. But what about all the violations that have somehow slipped right past their radar? Karl G. Maeser Everyone’s seen his beautiful bronze beard, but has anyone seen a beautiful bronze beard card to match it? We asked him to show it multiple times and he … Continue reading Blatant Honor Code Violations on Campus
