Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints went through a rollercoaster of emotions last week as beloved apostle Elder Jeffrey R. Holland was admitted to a Utah hospital and released days later.

Although the Church did not explain the reason for the hospitalization in its official statement, sources close to Holland confirm that the apostle fell violently ill after huffing an entire flask of COVID-19  – reportedly in an attempt to increase his empathy for those suffering in sickness at this time.

“Elder Holland asked me to bring up a sample from the lab just so he could have a good look.” explains Harry Barker, University of Utah Hospital resident epidemiologist, “Next thing I know he’s pouring it into an e-cigarette, saying a quick prayer, and taking a huge puff.”

“That’s when he threw me out of his office and locked himself in. For the whole next week no one could get to him – he didn’t want to give doctors a headstart in fighting it.”

When Elder Holland was finally admitted, he was disappointed that his symptoms hadn’t progressed to the point where he would “be favored” with the crushing physical trial of being hooked up to a ventilator. Doctors were shocked to find that the 79-year-old had completely fought off the virus and let him out within the week.

“I drove the guy home.” relates Uber driver Joey Barns, “He was totally distraught and muttering about how upset he was that his faith had healed him so quickly, while so many other victims would have to struggle in a hospital for weeks.”

President Nelson has ordered Elder Holland to follow a strict quarantine to keep him out of trouble, but the apostle’s assistants are beginning to worry that he is forming a plan that will help him emphasize better with victims of racial police brutality.