BREAKING: BYU to Fire Chimpanzees, Hire Actual Programmers to Develop Learning Suite and BYU Store Website

According to an internal memo from BYU’s administration (acquired by the Alternate Universe’s Advanced Intelligence Division), it appears that BYU will hire actual programmers to continue development on Learning Suite and the BYU store website.

Previously, in an effort to cut costs, BYU web development was managed by a team of chimpanzees given intelligence enhancing drugs by the BYU biology department. The experiment proved a success, as the chimpanzees developed functioning websites; However, it quickly became apparent that the sites were particularly prone to bugs in the coding.

When asked about this problem, Caesar, the leader of the Chimps, said (in sign) “websites prone to bugs by design. Apes like bugs. Bugs tasty.”

The chimpanzee programming team will be disbanded at the start of the fiscal year of 2021. It is unknown what will happen to them afterward. In the meantime, BYU students can be excited to finally have functioning websites developed by capable human hands.

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